At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
