It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
