do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
