You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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