i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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