They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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