so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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