New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
