those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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