I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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