Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
