My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
