it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i will never coherently bang her
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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