Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
