i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Operation Purity has been aborted
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
