Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
