One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
