that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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