He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
