Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think people are normalizing furries
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
