The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
