he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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