Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
