So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
