Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
