i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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