I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Houston, we have a squirter
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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