I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
