If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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