It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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