What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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