brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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