in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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