your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I cannot find my penis.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
