When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
