I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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