i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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