we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Let's get the cat blown out
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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