my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
