You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
