her vagine was all disorganized.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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