I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
