sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
