I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
