Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
