Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
