I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
