THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
