If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
