I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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