Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
